| Just want to clarify something about my last entry that I am not angry with anyone or anything- the only thing that is bothering my mind is that it is the third time that I fail to keep important promises for Christmas... 4-5 years ago I broke my promise to give another person space- then 2 years ago I broke my promise to accompany someone to somewhere- and now again just before Christmas history repeats itself and I broke my promise to you the most important one... Well I guess this just reminds me that life is not always perfect and sometimes I just have to bear the bitter part. Perhaps I'd just have to hope for the best next year that I will able to keep my promises... 'If I cannot keep a simple promise with you now, then how else would it be possible for me to keep promises for the society in the future that I would bring justice and righteousness?' |
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| My plan and dream are shattered- I really wanna express my anger but dun hv the means to do so-life was so good in the uk before when I was free to do whatever I wanted to- yeah maybe that really is the place where I belong |
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| For numerous times and occasions my prayers have gone without answers these two years. Or rather, God did not directly give me an answer and on several occasions the answers came contingent upon the results. I don't know but ever since then I could no longer gather the faith and motivation to do anything. But at this very moment I really need God's guidance... I cant believe I said something so offensive to her, something that could completely break a person's heart, without considering whether there was any truth in the statement. And it is often the case that you wont start to treasure certain things and realize their true value until you lose them. Everything seems all too late now. But I believe this is not an end, as I believe that God would still remedy the situation... and for the first time in 2 years, somehow I believe God would not remain silence on this issue and I have faith that he would show me the way as he did before. 'Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make very effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.' Ephesians 4:2-3
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| Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily-angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. |
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| 'My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.' Job 42:5-6 |
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